Betrayal.

Some people just underestimate the amount of love and care I have for them therefore they slowly start to demean me. One of the things lately, I've been taking a little bit of pride in is my soberness and my ability to let go of my past life. For all my old friends and my new friends, I want to achieve in trying to be an example to them that we seriously don't need any of this crap. Life may get out of hand sometimes and that should be a good enough reason for us to turn to each other, not to turn to alcohol or drugs. I know for the temporarily moment, it may seem like such a life-saving release, but in the long run, it's honestly an infection that destroyed something potentially beautiful about us. I'm speaking these words not just out of a spontaneous moment of thought from my heart and mind, but out of life-hardening experience. I don't want, even if it was to be even the one person I absolutely hate in this galaxy, to go through any similar scenario I have. It exasperates me that my friends have seen me firsthand fuck up to the core and they still don't understand. It honestly feels like a stab to the heart. I feel at fault and mostly indefinitely obligated to change their point of view. I would even repeat the past all over again just to try to prove my point because dealing with the consequences myself are worth it for them, but not worth it for them to make those similar mistakes themselves. I believe in each and every one of my friends could change the world. It just starts with one random act of kindness. I hope they could see the good and admiration and hope I see in them.

I don't want to turn to hypocrisy, but if it's my last resort to make them truly see then I would.

I love you, please don't ever forget that.